Look, I have plans. Big ones. Not really, maybe modest-sized ones though. There are several more stories to be told and I'm pretty sure I'm the girl to tell them (because they've mostly all happened to me and first-hand knowledge tends to work that way) Might even tell the story of why it took me a month and a half to make my way back here. Then again, who knows? This might be part of that. I don't really think it is, but it *would* be understandably difficult to put one's thoughts together over the total ridiculousness that often takes place next door.
I...... can not even describe the noises my neighbor, a girl I suspect to be in her late 20s to early 30s, makes when she comes home. Apparently her "widdle dawggie is the cutie wootiest widdle boy in da world!" I mean it's a combination between baby talk so sickening it gives me a cavity and these weird high pitched squealy shrieky noises. And it completely boggles my mind for two reasons:
A) I've seen her dog. Sure, he's cute, but mainly because I think dogs in general are cute. Looks mid-age, mid-size, some sort of Boxer mix(?) Nice enough looking dog. Nothing to have a conniption over because you just can't believe such a thing can even exist.
and 2) Every time. EVERY FUCKING TIME! Sometimes on the weekends I hear her come home from running errands or whatever as much as 3 or 4 times a day and EVERY TIME it's "sha-ba doo-be-doo-we-wah-woah-wen!?!???? shoo-be woo-bie doo-bie-do!" (Now imagine that first "sentence" with vocal inflection lifting into the stratosphere. The second is the come down.) It's possible she's saying actual words and I can't make them out through the wall. But even if they are, I'm pretty sure the words have been so 'baby talkified' that my rendition is closer to what she's phonetically saying than anything from the English language.
Originally I thought getting to know her would be kind of cool. She's my neighbor, she looks around my age, her kitchen opens onto the back porch we share so I can see that she's often stocked with wine. These are all good things! But now I'm kind of afraid. No one can talk that much baby talk to an animal that often, can they!?? So I'm starting to wonder... it may not just be that she sees her dog and is flabbergasted at the fact that this wide-eyed creature of 100% pure uncut cute exists and, by luck of the gods, exists IN HER HOME!!! That might just be her natural voice.
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