OK, let's get the party started and let's get it started right! This is kind of what started this whole thing. Pretty much the best story I've told in... two day.
I felt this needed to be recorded. For posterity.
Yesterday I wanted to do two things before going home: A) Stop at a Sally Beauty Supply and pick up some hair bleach and 2) Get a little necessary grocery shopping done. So I mapped it out before I left and figured the best way to go. Taking my old friend, the 156 bus! (we go way back, two apartments ago it was my lifeline) So I get out of work at 4:30 which is awesome because up until like 4:55 that bus is usually plenty breathable (past that... solid mass of craziness) There's one guy waiting at the stop with his Popeye's when I get there. So I wait. And wait. Finally Popeye's dude is like "I don't know what's going on but I've been here over 20 minutes." He leaves. I wait another minute or two and think in my head how I can take the 22 bus (which has a stop a couple blocks over) and relatively achieve the same end results. (Turns out Popeye's dude was thinking the same thing) As is another lady carrying a Trader Joe's bag. She also has a little bit of the scoop, saying that she saw the 156 earlier on a non-route road so it seems it's been re-routed. Re-routed but... not telling anyone where it's re-routed too. Well now... that's kinda awesome.
So a 22 bus comes by...........and keeps going. Drives right past. I mean I know we're getting later and they're full but usually they at least stop just in case a person or two can squeeze on! At this point most of us have been waiting over half an hour for a bus and the lady offered to share one of her bottles of wine from TJ's if anyone had a corkscrew but no one did. (Too bad. I don't think I need to tell you how awesome that would have made the story!)
So another 10-12 minutes and I am FINALLY on a 22 bus. Stop at Sally's. Now I have to catch a 36 to get to the grocery store. It's another 10 minute wait for the 36 bus, maybe a little less. When we're dealing with the 36 though, that's actually good. I think it got that route number because it's usually 36 minutes between busses...at which point 4 in a row will pass :P The bigger issue is there were all these god-y people on the corner, trying to get donations or people to sign petitions or something. (Funny. Usually it's animal or environment people doing this) I can't remember the name, but it was a god-y group. That's OK. I mean a little overly enthusiastic and annoying, but at least they, you know, have working minds. They can turn their over-enthusiasm right on to the next person when I say "sorry, no time, no money, no interest, my god doesn't actually believe in pandering" (note: I don't really say that last one.)
Them you can shake. The crazy god-y dude that steps up to the bus stop not so much. He kind of looked like god (according to Michaelangelo anyway) And also wearing dirty chinos. AND he had to pass right by the god group, but didn't even seem to notice or respond to them. But he was definitely crazy. Just talking really loudly in a preachy voice while everyone tries to ignore him. Of course he gets on the bus with me and I'm just glad I only have to ride it a few stops because it's taking all that's in me not to be like "oh please, SHUT UP." I mean REALLY REALLY low on patience at this point, because he actually was quite amusing. I just didn't even want to hear his voice. At one point he says that Jesus taught us what it was like to be cut into 1,000 pieces and.... I may be a few years away from my Catholic upbringing but I'm pretty sure that's NOT one of the things he taught us. Also he says "I had a vision of Jesus once. He burned my toes." Guy? I don't think you found Jesus, Jimmy Hoffa maybe, not Jesus.
So thankfully I get off soon. Get my groceries. See the usual insane long line for checkout. Remember something else I needed at the back of the store. Come back and magically the line is like 1/3 of what it was! This is to note, I was having good luck everywhere BUT with transportation. At Sally Beauty I walked in and cute scruffy hipster dude is like "can I help you?" And I say "hair bleach" and he takes me over, asks what I'm doing, helps pick out the best thing, even working with my fears of destroying my hair (I accept bleach will DAMAGE your hair, but I'd like to not melt it if I can) and picking out something a little nicer to hair that should still give me a good bleaching effect. It's just the traveling.
OK, so I get out and now I have to wait for a 36 bus AGAIN to get the rest of the way home. I walk up a stop from where I got off because it's a more main one and I'll be able to see the bus better. Plus it has a sign with a texting number (You text the number with a code and it sends you info on when the next busses are arriving. This is awesome, bee tee dubs.) So first I text to see if I should bother sit down. Busses coming in 17 and 18 minutes. Well that's the 36 for you. I sit down... and crazy god-y guy must have gotten off at that next stop!!! Because there he is across the street, standing in front of a Presbyterian church like they'd said "ummm no, you're too crazy for us, you need to stay outside" yelling and screaming at everyone who passed by. To get home I had to transfer to ONE last bus and there was a screaming crying baby on the bus the whole way and at that point I almost didn't care. I was like "Fuck you, baby. This is transit nightmare LITE!"
So that was that. Then this morning I'm taking the train in like I usually do. I get to the platform when I usually do. On the walk there I saw a southbound train (like I take) go by about 3-4 minutes before I got there and the trains usually run every 6-8 minutes. There was a northbound train going by when I got there. I waited. FIVE MORE northbound trains passed and nothing. One more went by just as another southbound was FINALLY showing up so counting the first one I saw that was SEVEN northbound trains passing before we finally got a southbound!!! I mean there's only like 4 stops before mine. That's the START of the route. Did they forget how to send trains out in the morning!?? On top of that the driver was just putzing along at a kind of slow mid-speed (in other words, not slow enough for there to be a reason like track maintenance, just slow enough to be annoying.) All in all, my usual 30 minute commute ended up being an hour and 15 minutes and I'm pretty sure I somehow pissed off the CTA gods. I guess that's better than pissing off 'real' god. I hear he burns your toes.
No comments:
Post a Comment